When Amani was born she was put on my breast straight away and midwives showed me what to do. It was a very strange feeling :) For the next 24 hours when I was in hospital Amani was sleeping all the time and she didn't want to feed. I was told it was normal for a baby to be a bit sleepy as I had an injection of pethidine when I was in labour.
For the next 3-4 days I was in terrible pain. Every time I had to feed Amani I would try hard not to scream from the pain, it was that bad. I looked up breastfeeding on the internet, spoke to midwives who told me I'm doing everything right and every advise I got was that it will get better in a few weeks. WEEKS?? I couldn't take another feed!! I was scared of my daughter waking up crying asking for another feed. Every time she latched on I was in excruciating pain, screaming, curling my toes, depressed walking zombie. I was determined not to give up.
I had bought an electrical breast pump before my daughter was born and was planning on using it, but everyone said I should wait until breastfeeding is established. I spoke to midwife and asked her if I could ONLY use the pump, therefore my daughter would still get the good stuff and I won't be in so much pain! She told me that some mums choose to do that, but it doesn't work for everyone. Apparently when you bottle feed you don't get that CLOSENESS with your baby - rubish!
You also have to pump about 8 times a day in order to keep up your supply, including during the night. I had time to pump a lot as Amani was always sleeping, but if you have more children to run after who has time to pump as well!? This obviously doesn't suit everyone, but I was so scared of the next feed, I decided it's time to get the pump out!
It was very comfortable and painless and I remember looking at my husband shouting "it doesn't hurt!!!".
So I expressed about 4oz of milk and fed my daughter. It was like as if weight has been lifted off my shoulders, it was such a great feeling and I started smiling again. After that moment I could finally enjoy being a mum.
Feeding my baby this way had many benefits: no pain, other people could feed her when I was cooking and cleaning, my husband did the odd night feed, I knew exactly how much she was getting so she went from feeding every hour to feeding every 3 hours.
The breast pump I used was Philips Comfort Single Electric Breast Pump. I can't compare it to others as it was my first time, but I loved it. It was indeed very comfortable :)
Of course my milk supply slowly went down as I couldn't pump all the time. When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night the last thing you want to do is pump!
So I managed to give Amani breast milk for about 6 weeks before I lost all of my milk. I am proud of myself for not giving up and not switching straight to formula. I felt extremely guilty for not being able to take the pain and breastfeed my daughter but I'm happy I managed to give her my milk at least for the first 6 weeks :)
